


Concerning War

by celestial_light



Series: Concerning the Demonic [1]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, bits of demonology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 07:59:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17618540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celestial_light/pseuds/celestial_light
Summary: Sebastian never considered himself a war veteran until it concerned Bard and his wellbeing. Now he finds himself pondering his nature as a demon.





	Concerning War

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think! Your comments give me life! Same with kudos.

 

 

For if God did not spare angels when they sinned, but cast them into hell and committed them to chains of gloomy darkness to be kept until the judgment;

2 Peter 2:4

* * *

 

 

Sebastian hadn't a clue what had set Bard off this time. Nowadays it could be anything--a door slamming shut, the whistle screaming from a pot, or even the open flame of a candle. It had happened so suddenly.  Sebastian had only realized something was amiss when his hearing had picked up on the cook’s increased heart rate, and he’d smelled the beads of sweat rolling down the man’s forehead.

 

Bard made his exit without even excusing himself.

 

Sebastian tossed his dish towel onto the counter and followed closely after the brooding blond. Though he kept a respectable distance, remembering what Agni had told him once about humans and their need for room.

 

The cook had stationed himself on the wall outside of the kitchen, letting the brick support his body. Red eyes glanced down at the human’s fist, taking note of how he clenched them tightly. His breathing was also incredibly ragged, a symptom the demon usually attributed to his master’s asthma.

 

"You said you were in a war once, huh?" Bard managed, his voice strangled and tight. Sebastian watched as he dug in his pocket and pulled out a cigarette, trembling as he struggled to light it. Wordlessly Sebastian offered a hand, and with repose Bard accepted his help.

 

"A very big one,” he responded as he handed the cigarette over, “But it was in another country, far away from here."

The cook almost looked relieved, though his aura suggested he felt guilty about it not a moment later. Sebastian wanted to ease his worry, to let him know his thoughts were okay. But reading one’s thoughts was not what humans did, as Agni had told him on various occasions.

 

"Do you...still have dreams about it?" The cook glanced into the demon’s eyes for a short moment, yearning for a shared experience. Though he looked away when silence followed.

 

 _I don't sleep_ , hanged on the tip of Sebastian's tongue, but he figured it wasn’t an appropriate thing to say.

 

"I remember it all the time." And he was not lying. He saw the Heavens when he looked towards the sky. It was the curse of his kind. To hear and see what they had lost during the Fall.

 

"How do you manage? I mean I've...we've never seen you show signs that it’s bothered you or anything like that." Bard continued to look at the dirt, taking a long drag to ease the situation, "you seem perfect."

 

Sebastian realized now was a good place to put a stop in the conversation. His nature didn’t allow him to feel what Bard had, and his act of rebellion cost him no nightmares or regrets. Only anger at what made him rebel in the first place.

 

"I think our situations are vastly different." Sebastian said. "You did what you did because you had to. I did what I did because I wanted to." At that, Bard met the demon’s gaze.  

 

"You mean you wanted to kill people."

 

"Does that surprise you?" All at once, Sebastian imagined  that every gruesome murder that he’d committed in the name of the young master flashed through the cook's mind. He searched the man’s face for any sign of disgust or disdain, but found none.

  
There was only sadness.

 

"I wish I was like you." Bard kicked his cigarette out. "then it would be easier."

 

"Don't wish that, Bard." Sebastian said, and there was a tone of sympathy in his voice, “i’ve fallen a great deal to get where I am now.” It was such an odd thing for him to say, yet it seemed perfectly fitting. Though all at once it had forced him to challenge that idea that where and what he was now...was okay.

 

"I can make you some tea. It will you sleep." Sebastian offered, partly because he wanted alleviate the gnawing feeling within his essence. He needed a distraction.

 

"It's the best I can do for your episodes.”

 

Bard smiled, though the weariness never left him. Sebastian struggled with a smile of his own. If only he could tell Bard what he was, than wiping those war memories would be so much easier.

 

“I’ll take you up on the offer, Sebastian.”

 

"Take the day off. I can finish your duties in the kitchen," The demon added, raising a hand to any complaints Bard might have had, "You've been overworking yourself. That's why your episodes are coming back."

 

Bard grumbled, throwing his cigarette on the ground and putting it out.

 

"You should go visit your family too. Your sister writes to you often." Sebastian continued, "I could give you a vacation."

 

"Would you come with me?" He asked, “I think you’d like America.” _And I can’t go back there by myself,_ went unsaid.

"To America? I doubt the young master would give me even a day off. But that doesn’t mean I won’t ask.”

 

Bard shrugged. “Maybe we could visit your country then. Surely the young master would let you go home.”

 

“My home is as close to hell as you can get.” And _that was_ an understatement, “You wouldn’t like it.”

 

Bard opened his mouth to ask questions, but Sebastian silenced him again, “No I won’t tell you where it is. It’s too hard to find regardless. And you need to get to bed. I’ll come get you when it’s time to eat.”

 

Bard only lingered to intertwine his finger’s with Sebastian’s, relinquishing his grip only when the butler reluctantly pulled his hand away.

 

Now all that was left was the demon, the Heavens, and another letter to write to Agni.

**Author's Note:**

> This series is my way of exploring demonology with two characters I love. If you couldn't tell the series is going to be written out of order XD With small inserts from other characters. The main pairing is Sebastian and Bard. Tell me what you think please! The bits of demonology and headcanons associated with them belong to me, so If you want to use them please ask first!


End file.
